A love letter to yourself
stick with me on this…
This might seem a bit left field, but let’s be honest, when did you last receive a love letter from someone else? As important as it is to receive acknowledgement of love in order to reinforce the bonds of marriage or partnership that can seem to wear thin under the rub of the day the day. It’s even more imperative to be able to be able to catch yourself should you slip.
In times of profound physical and emotional change – under pressure, under fatigue, under the fog of sleepless nights and a clouded mind – being self aware is no easy task. Blame psychology, hormones, instagram filters, whatever… the truth is that we usually have a negative in-built bias; we can verbalise the things we don’t like but it’s more difficult to name things we love or even like about ourselves. In fact for most of us it’s not even on our radar… so consider this a reminder. You need you!
Take a little bit of time out to recognise your greatness, your value and the perfect imperfections that create you and your story. Think about this line from the poem After Awhile by Veronica Shoftsall:
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to leave you flowers.
Veronica Shoftsall
Check your self doubt at the door…
…along with the notion that this is ridiculous! Get a pen and paper (don’t type it), try to find a quiet and comfortable space. Remember that you’re writing yourself a love letter, not a to do list or an admonishment of failings.
Set a scene if it helps. An old romantic movie or story. Imagine that you’re writing to your love (you!) who’s away in some far flung place, you’re separated by distance and time – there’s no internet, no mobile phone, no video chat.
how to start:
Go big, be subtle, be natural and true to how you’d write and what you’d like to receive. Use your name or a term of endearment:
- To my darling me,
- Talia, I’m writing because…
- To my beautiful self, I love you because…
if you get stuck:
Think back and mention a beautiful memory… “I remember that time in ________, what an amazing experience”.
Build up those incredible parts of yourself, achievements, things you’re proud of – think about the compliments you’ve received in workplace, in the street, from family. Big wins and small, write them down, think about the things you do for others and turn them into moments of gratitude.
- I appreciate you because…
- I am proud of you because…
- You are fucking awesome because…
- The way you handled xxxxxx was…
You can acknowledge your qualities and things you’d like to improve or struggles that you have overcome or are still enduring – but be kind, remember this is a love letter. Focus on the silver lining: “We’ve had some tough times together, our road has been bloody bumpy – but look at you now. I’d couldn’t be prouder of you(me). I can see you trying everyday, giving for those around you and I know that there’s better days ahead.”
tHEN WHAT?
Read it, and cherish it. Put it under you pillow or hang it in your bedroom. Revisit it without judgement. My hope is that in your darker moments you can find it a be reminded that you are needed, that your contribution to this world is valuable and beautiful and that you are loved deeply.
